YOU SMOKE?

Him: Let us go and watch a movie

Her: Okay, umm…I am free later this week

Him: No, I mean now.

Her: You could be an axe murderer

Him: There is always that possibility. Come on, take a risk. (Takes out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and puts one in his mouth)

Her: Really? That is disgusting!

Him: What?

Her: What, do you think that’s cool or something? (Pointing to the cigarette) You just ruined this whole thing.

Him: The whole thing? (With a smile on his face)

Her: Yes, the whole thing!

Him: Oh, man!

Her: Even though you had freaking cancer, you are willing to give money to a corporation for a chance to acquire even more cancer? Let me tell you one thing, not being able to breathe sucks. (She is on portable oxygen)

Him: They don’t actually hurt you unless you light them. (Holding the cigarette in front of her)

Her: Hmm (with a surprise on her face)

Him: I have never lit one. It is a metaphor. See, you put the thing that hurts you right between your teeth (he puts the cigarette back in his mouth), but you never give it the power to kill you. Metaphor.

That is a conversation between Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace in the movie The Fault in Our stars. It is arguably one of the best, if not the best, romantic movies that have hit the screen in the past decade or so. You might label it a chick-flick. For those who haven’t seen it, I recommend you watch it.

The above is the scene where the two have their first conversation, leading them to embark on their love journey. The metaphor Augustus uses points to his battle against cancer throughout the movie.

I wanted to share with you my perspectives on that. Augusts, a confident young lad, was very honest about his problems. He was saying to the world; in my view, “I have a problem that I am dealing with, but I don’t give it the power to discourage me or put me down.” I think he used cigarettes to attract people to question his actions. He wanted them to lure in and ask him, “Why do you smoke when you have cancer?” He wanted to say to the people that asked life gives you problems but what matters is what you do with them.

What I want to bargain with you today is the “cigarette” in your life. The “cigarette” that you have not shared with anyone before.

 Many of us have developed methods of coping with problems and emotions, either constructive or destructive. Our emotions want to vent out and be expressed. They seek methods of relieving themselves from the restrictions they are put under. If not careful, those emotions might come out in distractive habits. They could bear us down and cause even more problems.

One of the ways to be destructive is to light the cigarette we have in our mouths, literally. But some of you: might use drawings, poems, music, or writings to express your emotions. That is your “cigarette.” You have something that attracts people to you, something that you could use to say to the world, “I had problems, but with this, I conquered them.”

Unlike Augustus, we don’t want to attract people to our problems; we don’t want anyone to see or hear about them. We have all had many moments in our lives where we went through struggles that we have no reason to why it has happened. We don’t usually care to share or reflect on them. We hide them in the dark and keep them away. We worry that reflecting on them will shed light on what we went through. We are anxious about bruising the scars we once had and bringing up all the emotions involved.

I am not advocating that you showcase all your scars for the world. I am, however, trying to refer to you that skill. The skill that has helped you in expressing those deep emotions and problems. 

There is a hilarious scene in the movie where the two couples go on a flight to Amsterdam. Hassel had dreams of meeting her favorite book’s author. Augustus, seeing that she might die sooner rather than later, takes her to Amsterdam, where the author lives. How romantic, right? On the plane, August, being his very first flight, was very nervous and took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth. The flight attendant passing by saw him and said, “There is no smoking on this plane, Sir!” Hassel replied, “Oh no, he doesn’t smoke. It is a metaphor. You see, he puts the thing that kills him in his mouth but never gives it the power to kill him.” The flight attendant returned, “Well, that metaphor is prohibited on today’s flight.” And walks off.

You, my friend, can say that to me as well. But for those who lend me their ears, I shall continue.  

If I am not mistaken, it was the late Caleb Meakins who said: “showing how great you are, impresses people. But showing how weak you are, connects people.” I figured; if I am to connect with more humans, I should be sharing what makes me human. The emotions and problems I hate and hide, which I put down in the form of “cigarettes,” could be the ones that connect me to the people I need in my life and to those who need me in theirs. For you, it might be that drawing you drew when you felt no hope, that poem you wrote when you felt the world was against you, or that song you wrote when your parents were going through a divorce. Any of those could be the ones that connect you. That’s your “cigarette.”

As I bring this to an end: by now, for sure, you know what I mean by “cigarettes.” There is a “cigarette” in you; that has helped you during your times of struggle; that you can forward to the world. Something that has shown use to you and could be to many others. I hope you find that “cigarette,” put it in your mouth, and attract all that’s meant for you.

              Be all you can be.✌

Let me know your comments below.👇