Understanding Women's Desires: A Guide for Men to Build Stronger Relationships
Understanding Women's Desires
When it comes to understanding women, there is no one-size-fits-all approach; just like men, women have unique needs and desires shaped by upbringing, personality, and life experiences.
However, some general patterns can help men understand what women look for in life, love, and relationships.
This article will explore women and their prime desires, how they differ from men, and what men can do to meet these needs and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Disclaimer, this is a continuation of our previous article. If you haven't read it, click here. What you read in this article might not work for every woman but I have tried to research and made it as inclusive as possible and I hope you find this very helpful.
Their decisions are dictated by the emotions they feel now, and they express those emotions rather than what they know or is true in the relationship. A woman can refuse to go to an event that she had fully pledged to do so a few days earlier. She is expressing what she is feeling now by deciding to say no to going to the event. You can try to talk her out of it and try and fix the problem, but it usually does not work unless you try and force out the feeling she is in with love and care.
The search for freedom is the priority of the masculine, and the search for love is the priority of the feminine.
How I see men and women is like an engine and a tree, respectively. Engines need a little tweak, and they will be up and running as well as they were. They have a few requirements that should be fulfilled, and if it gets that, it will run on all cylinders. Give it service every month and a few repairs along the way, and it will serve you for years.
Trees, however, need time, love, and attention. They need daily care and nurture to bring them up to where they can flourish in abundance. They require patience and diligence until we see fruits from them. Once they start bearing fruits, rewards are exponential.
Getting that off for starters, we will break it down and see them in detail.
Research has shown that women have a greater need for emotional support and connection than men. One study found that women who had more emotional support had lower levels of stress and better physical health (Gallant & Spitze, 2018).
When we talked about men, we said that their desire is the search for freedom or purpose, and that of women is the search for love. Women seek out love in everything they do; their bliss is fullness. They want to be filled with love and forms of replacement for love.
We said men see sports as the replacement or representation of their quest for freedom; they try to free their stress by winding up on the couch and watching TV. Women, nevertheless, do not seek freedom like men, but they want to fill their lives with love and fulfillment. They hate spending their time in the joy of emptiness but would rather be in the fullness of love.
You see women filling out their houses with goods, they fill their closets with clothing, their time with long talks with their feminine friends, and their belly with chocolate and sweets. I do not mean men differ in such things but that they are majorly feminine traits.
Women enjoy emotional aggression instead of physical ones. Hence, they enjoy soap operas and romance novels as entertainment rather than combat sports. They relate to the novel as the characters fight to fill their lives with love and the drama involved in the struggle to get a hold of love and fulfillment.
Women crave stability in their relationships, and this often translates to a need for exclusivity and commitment from their partners. They want to know that their partners will provide unwavering support and be there for them through thick and thin.
Studies have shown that gender roles and behavior are shaped by evolutionary pressures. Women's preference for security and stability can be traced back to the need for survival and reproduction in primitive societies, where men provided protection and resources for women and children (Buss, 1995).
Throughout the evolution of the human species, primitive man was the protector and provider. Men were responsible for helping the species survive throughout the atrocious seasons and years. The women, on the contrary, held on to the role of bearing children, rearing them, and everything else done in the house.
As opposed to now, primitive women held on to their men as that was their only means of survival; even if these men had multiple women, they stayed with them as their chances of survival increased with them than without.
The behavior of primitive women can still be seen in modern women as they seek security in their relationships. Moreover, financial security has become essential for women as they want to feel safe and secure in their overall financial situations. A sense of control over financial matters, stability, and reassurance is the new vessel of expression for our modern times.
Studies have shown that financial security is important to women and is a factor they consider when choosing a partner. Research has also found that women prefer men who are ambitious and have clear goals, as it makes them feel more secure and protected in the relationship (Buss & Schmitt, 2011).
Women want to be with a man of clear purpose as they feel secure and safe that they are going on the right path. Even if they lack financial security, the woman feels security in his direction and focus. But when a man is without a purpose and focus, the woman tends to feel insecure and will have no choice but to go to someone who can take away her insecurities.
Women love it when a man takes the initiative to decide the path for the relationship. They love it when it is all taken care of and secure. A woman is more likely to say yes to a date when the man has set the date, time, and place beforehand rather than deciding about it together unless her schedule is occupied at the stated time. This feeds their desire for security.
Women find it fulfilling when their partners express genuine love and affection towards them, as they crave validation for their emotional efforts. A beautiful bouquet, a tight embrace, a surprise date, and heartfelt loving messages all reaffirm their innate desire for love and affection. Moreover, focusing on every detail—the small things of their preferences, activities they enjoy, and places they like, can go a long way in filling this desire for love and affection.
For women, words also have a great place. The affirmations they receive from their partners are fuels. How we state things has a very significant impact, positively or negatively.
Research has shown that men and women communicate differently. Women tend to use more indirect and emotionally expressive language, while men tend to use more direct and assertive language (Tannen, 1990).
For instance, a wife might ask her husband what he thinks about the new way she has set up the living room; the man looks at the room reluctantly, pass by the difference, and state that it is the same. The woman might have spent hours trying to adjust the couches, and being received by that would probably make her shout at the top of her lungs. Now imagine, even if he has not noticed the difference, he might state that it looks nice; and ask what she did to it. This will make the wife very proud, and she will take her time in explaining all she did with great enthusiasm.
Being conscious of our words with women will be of great benefit.
As a man, show commitment through actions and long-term goals, as actions speak louder than words. Shared goals, mature communication, and honesty are critical building blocks in making commitments thrive in a relationship. For women, commitment is not something to be taken lightly and is viewed as a practical and emotional imperative.
Every woman has unique and personal sexual desires; variations also arise from age, health complications, and life situations. However, at the core of their desires is a need to feel loved, valued, and appreciated by their partners. Therefore, catering to their sexual desires requires communication, a willingness to experiment, and an environment the woman feels relaxed, safe, and fully connected to her partner.
This brings us back to the point that men seek freedom, and women seek love and fulfillment. Sex will have different meanings for the two from that perspective. A man wants to get relief from stress and get his freedom. The man might be stressed with the desire to have sex, and getting that ejaculation will be freedom. After that, men usually run off or sleep in the relief from stress attained after orgasm. Women, however, see sex as a means to strengthen love and reach fulfillment. The orgasm for a woman will fill her body with love and joy; they hold tight to the man and connect more to him, which is expressed in their need to cuddle after orgasm.
Men are more likely to pursue hookups and behaviors such as seeking casual sexual encounters. They tend to choose casual dating to prioritize freedom, experimentation, and independence. In contrast, women crave love, commitment, and security in relationships, often focusing on fulfilling their emotional needs through support and expressions of love.
Both sexes must recognize the differences in their desires and expectations to bridge the communication gap and foster the growth of understanding and healthy relationships.
Men and women have fundamentally different needs, and recognizing these differences is essential in creating and fostering strong relationships. Communication, understanding, compromise, and meeting each other's needs are pillars of building your relationship.
In conclusion, embrace the differences, acknowledge them, and take time to journey through them. Since efforts are taken to understand each other completely, nurturing greater intimacy; creating fulfilling relationships is worth it.
I. Desires of Women
Women are like the ocean; their needs shift like the coming and going waves. They have brains wired differently and are the opposite of men; they think more in circles rather than the direct thinking of men.Their decisions are dictated by the emotions they feel now, and they express those emotions rather than what they know or is true in the relationship. A woman can refuse to go to an event that she had fully pledged to do so a few days earlier. She is expressing what she is feeling now by deciding to say no to going to the event. You can try to talk her out of it and try and fix the problem, but it usually does not work unless you try and force out the feeling she is in with love and care.
The search for freedom is the priority of the masculine, and the search for love is the priority of the feminine.
How I see men and women is like an engine and a tree, respectively. Engines need a little tweak, and they will be up and running as well as they were. They have a few requirements that should be fulfilled, and if it gets that, it will run on all cylinders. Give it service every month and a few repairs along the way, and it will serve you for years.
Trees, however, need time, love, and attention. They need daily care and nurture to bring them up to where they can flourish in abundance. They require patience and diligence until we see fruits from them. Once they start bearing fruits, rewards are exponential.
Getting that off for starters, we will break it down and see them in detail.
A. Emotional needs
Women are emotional creatures, and their need for emotional connection and support is paramount. Unlike men, who value independence and self-sufficiency, women thrive on relationships and connections with their partners; they seek love, intimacy, and emotional fulfillment. They tend to form close bonds with friends, family, and romantic partners.Research has shown that women have a greater need for emotional support and connection than men. One study found that women who had more emotional support had lower levels of stress and better physical health (Gallant & Spitze, 2018).
When we talked about men, we said that their desire is the search for freedom or purpose, and that of women is the search for love. Women seek out love in everything they do; their bliss is fullness. They want to be filled with love and forms of replacement for love.
We said men see sports as the replacement or representation of their quest for freedom; they try to free their stress by winding up on the couch and watching TV. Women, nevertheless, do not seek freedom like men, but they want to fill their lives with love and fulfillment. They hate spending their time in the joy of emptiness but would rather be in the fullness of love.
You see women filling out their houses with goods, they fill their closets with clothing, their time with long talks with their feminine friends, and their belly with chocolate and sweets. I do not mean men differ in such things but that they are majorly feminine traits.
Women enjoy emotional aggression instead of physical ones. Hence, they enjoy soap operas and romance novels as entertainment rather than combat sports. They relate to the novel as the characters fight to fill their lives with love and the drama involved in the struggle to get a hold of love and fulfillment.
B. Desire for security
Security and stability are critical needs for women, and they need to feel safe and secure in all areas of their lives. This includes physical safety, protection from emotional hurt, security in their romantic relationships, and a sense of security in their careers and overall life path.Women crave stability in their relationships, and this often translates to a need for exclusivity and commitment from their partners. They want to know that their partners will provide unwavering support and be there for them through thick and thin.
Studies have shown that gender roles and behavior are shaped by evolutionary pressures. Women's preference for security and stability can be traced back to the need for survival and reproduction in primitive societies, where men provided protection and resources for women and children (Buss, 1995).
Throughout the evolution of the human species, primitive man was the protector and provider. Men were responsible for helping the species survive throughout the atrocious seasons and years. The women, on the contrary, held on to the role of bearing children, rearing them, and everything else done in the house.
As opposed to now, primitive women held on to their men as that was their only means of survival; even if these men had multiple women, they stayed with them as their chances of survival increased with them than without.
The behavior of primitive women can still be seen in modern women as they seek security in their relationships. Moreover, financial security has become essential for women as they want to feel safe and secure in their overall financial situations. A sense of control over financial matters, stability, and reassurance is the new vessel of expression for our modern times.
Studies have shown that financial security is important to women and is a factor they consider when choosing a partner. Research has also found that women prefer men who are ambitious and have clear goals, as it makes them feel more secure and protected in the relationship (Buss & Schmitt, 2011).
Women want to be with a man of clear purpose as they feel secure and safe that they are going on the right path. Even if they lack financial security, the woman feels security in his direction and focus. But when a man is without a purpose and focus, the woman tends to feel insecure and will have no choice but to go to someone who can take away her insecurities.
Women love it when a man takes the initiative to decide the path for the relationship. They love it when it is all taken care of and secure. A woman is more likely to say yes to a date when the man has set the date, time, and place beforehand rather than deciding about it together unless her schedule is occupied at the stated time. This feeds their desire for security.
C. Desire for love and affection
For women, love and affection are the centers of their emotional universe. They want to be loved, cherished, and adored. They want to feel that their partners are invested in the relationship and committed to building a future together. Women often express their love and affection through physical touches, such as hugging, holding hands, and cuddling. They expect their partners to reciprocate these gestures.Women find it fulfilling when their partners express genuine love and affection towards them, as they crave validation for their emotional efforts. A beautiful bouquet, a tight embrace, a surprise date, and heartfelt loving messages all reaffirm their innate desire for love and affection. Moreover, focusing on every detail—the small things of their preferences, activities they enjoy, and places they like, can go a long way in filling this desire for love and affection.
For women, words also have a great place. The affirmations they receive from their partners are fuels. How we state things has a very significant impact, positively or negatively.
Research has shown that men and women communicate differently. Women tend to use more indirect and emotionally expressive language, while men tend to use more direct and assertive language (Tannen, 1990).
For instance, a wife might ask her husband what he thinks about the new way she has set up the living room; the man looks at the room reluctantly, pass by the difference, and state that it is the same. The woman might have spent hours trying to adjust the couches, and being received by that would probably make her shout at the top of her lungs. Now imagine, even if he has not noticed the difference, he might state that it looks nice; and ask what she did to it. This will make the wife very proud, and she will take her time in explaining all she did with great enthusiasm.
Being conscious of our words with women will be of great benefit.
D. Desire for commitment
Women actively seek long-term commitments in their relationships and expect their partners to be forthcoming with long-term plans. They require stability in their relationships. Nothing screams safety louder than commitment.As a man, show commitment through actions and long-term goals, as actions speak louder than words. Shared goals, mature communication, and honesty are critical building blocks in making commitments thrive in a relationship. For women, commitment is not something to be taken lightly and is viewed as a practical and emotional imperative.
E. Sexual desires
Sexual desires are not only limited to men—but women also equally harbor sexual desires and want. While they may not be as straightforward as men, be it for physical intimacy or emotional and romantic fulfillment, they exist nonetheless.Every woman has unique and personal sexual desires; variations also arise from age, health complications, and life situations. However, at the core of their desires is a need to feel loved, valued, and appreciated by their partners. Therefore, catering to their sexual desires requires communication, a willingness to experiment, and an environment the woman feels relaxed, safe, and fully connected to her partner.
This brings us back to the point that men seek freedom, and women seek love and fulfillment. Sex will have different meanings for the two from that perspective. A man wants to get relief from stress and get his freedom. The man might be stressed with the desire to have sex, and getting that ejaculation will be freedom. After that, men usually run off or sleep in the relief from stress attained after orgasm. Women, however, see sex as a means to strengthen love and reach fulfillment. The orgasm for a woman will fill her body with love and joy; they hold tight to the man and connect more to him, which is expressed in their need to cuddle after orgasm.
II. Differences in Desires between Men and Women
Men and women have fundamentally different desires regards to romantic, emotional, and psychological needs. While men typically value physical attraction and spontaneity, women prioritize emotional connection and security.Men are more likely to pursue hookups and behaviors such as seeking casual sexual encounters. They tend to choose casual dating to prioritize freedom, experimentation, and independence. In contrast, women crave love, commitment, and security in relationships, often focusing on fulfilling their emotional needs through support and expressions of love.
Both sexes must recognize the differences in their desires and expectations to bridge the communication gap and foster the growth of understanding and healthy relationships.
Importance of understanding the differences
Both men and women need to understand the differences in desires between the sexes. Without this understanding, miscommunication and frustration can arise in relationships. By acknowledging and accepting these differences, couples can work together to find ways to meet each of their needs and create a strong and healthier partnership.Common misconceptions
There are several common misconceptions about the desires of men and women. For example, it is often assumed that men are more interested in sex than women, but both sexes have equal sexual needs. Additionally, women are sometimes portrayed as overly emotional or needy; the truth is that they clearly have a different way of expressing their emotions and needs than men do.III. Ways to Satisfy the Desires of Men and Women
A. Communication
Open communication and discussing emotions, thoughts, and desires are vital in relationships. Communication builds empathy while laying the foundations for meeting each other's needs.B. Understanding
A relationship that breeds understanding provides deep appreciation and creates a safe space to strengthen connections. This will reinforce the intimacy required to have a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.C. Compromise
With relationships comes compromise: it needs conscious efforts to meet each other's preferences and needs. Using this, partners build rewarding relationships, respect, and joy.D. Meeting each other's needs
It is crucial to focus on meeting each other's needs in relationships. Doing things that make your partner feel cherished, loved, and secure can reinforce your commitment to nurturing it and ultimately raise its quality.Conclusion
Understanding the desire of women and men in relationships is crucial for fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships. Women desire emotional proximity, security, love and affection, commitment, and a fulfilling sex life. As a man, catering to these needs can grow the relationship to a greater height of intimacy and satisfaction.Men and women have fundamentally different needs, and recognizing these differences is essential in creating and fostering strong relationships. Communication, understanding, compromise, and meeting each other's needs are pillars of building your relationship.
In conclusion, embrace the differences, acknowledge them, and take time to journey through them. Since efforts are taken to understand each other completely, nurturing greater intimacy; creating fulfilling relationships is worth it.
Be all you can be! ✌
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REFERENCES
- Gallant, M. P., & Spitze, G. D. (2018). Gender differences in the importance of social ties for physical health. Journal of Women & Aging, 30(1), 64-77.
- Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (2011). Evolutionary psychology and feminism. Sex Roles, 64(9-10), 768-787.
- Tannen, D. (1990). You just don't understand: Women and men in conversation. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc.
- Buss, D. M. (1995). Evolutionary psychology: A new paradigm for psychological science. Psychological Inquiry, 6(1), 1-30.
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